Hi everyone. This is the part where I make an excuse for
being absent for like, two years, and follow it up with empty promises to write
more, and write more often, but we all know that probably won’t stick. I mean,
this stupid fuck’s presidency threw me into the same spiral most creative-types
feel when everything is terrible; “Does-any-of-this-matter? The world is so
shitty, why should I make dumb articles about 20-year-old video games when this
insane fuck is going to kill us all? I should be doing something useful to help
people.” But then I just watch Netflix and eat a box of Cheez-Its and think
about what alcohol mixers I should drink straight, because I ran out of base
liquors three days ago in my last spiral. Not triple sec, btw.
But hey, if anything can get me to write again, maybe it’s a
new Smash Bros.
As any Smash Bros fan can tell you, 2/3 of the fun of a new
game is the speculation and theorizing of new characters. Fans like to
psychoanalyze the series director, Masahiro Sakurai, and weigh his thought
process against games he may want to advertise, or what he’s a fan of, or
series relevancy, or what color his sofa is, to figure out who he might have in
store for us this time.
 |
| People really thought there was a secret message in here. |
Once the game was released in December and we knew the
roster, the hunt for DLC character clues began. The most likely place seems to
be Super Smash Bros Ultimate’s new adventure mode, Spirits. Spirits features
dozens of characters who got at least a brief consideration to be included before
the development team decided to go in another direction and choose someone like
Piranha Plant. You see, Spirits mode is the Smash equivalent of a silver medal.
While characters like Inkling or King K. Rool made the cut and became
fully-realized Smash Bros fighters, other popular choices like Mario RPG’s
Geno, or Zelda’s Midna are represented by a stock photo accompanied by a palette-swapped
Sheik with a Super Scope equipped, or Bayonetta with an assist trophy buddy.
They’re still not playable, but it’s an honor just to be nominated.
 |
| Guts Man, looking exactly how you remember him. |
There are some who contend that being included in Spirits
mode doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out as a DLC option. I’m not sure I buy that.
It seems to me, that if all this mental and physical energy went into creating
a character and they ultimately decided to create a thematic reference-filled
battle instead, that’s kind of the final word on that. But as with all the “rules” the fans use to
speculate, they apply until they don’t.
Playing through Spirits mode is a trip down memory lane for
video game fans. It seems like everything is referenced at some point. Stanley
the Bugman from Donkey Kong 3, Cammy from Street Fighter, Spark Man from Mega
Man 3, Swanky Kong from Donkey Kong Country 2, and even some of the various
Mario Kart vehicles. This makes some of the rare omissions all the more
glaring. Why have they been left out? Are they legitimate roster options? Did
Sakurai just deem them unimportant? Let’s speculate together.
1.
Porky (Earthbound, Mother 3)
Porky was the first character that
people collectively realized was missing. And it’s not like he’s a minor
character, either. Porky served as the main antagonist for both Ness and Lucas
in the Earthbound series. That means Porky played a major role in more Earthbound
games than either of the playable characters currently in the Smash Bros roster.
On top of that, Porky made an appearance in Super Smash Bros Brawl as a boss.
Every other boss from that game was referenced in some way in SSBU. It’s worth
mentioning that Porky’s Absolutely Safe Capsule is in as a Spirit. Did Sakurai
intend for this to be a stand-in for Porky? Is Porky still in there, watching
Smash battles for all eternity? Is SSBU canon to the ending of Mother 3, and
Porky, in the capsule, somehow made it to this universe? Is he’s absolutely
safe in the Absolutely Safe Capsule, how did Galeem, the villain, manage to
make him vanish with that giant laser beam that disintegrates everyone? Video
games are weird.
However, the main villain of a niche series probably isn’t enough to put Porky over the top. I’d personally love to see him, especially the younger version from Earthbound who fights in a Bowser Jr-style mech, but chances are he’ll appear as a downloadable Spirit somewhere down the line. You’ll probably even be able to enhance him from his Earthbound sprite to his Mother 3 one.
Spirits Scenario: Metal Bowser Jr. on Fourside.
Odds Porky is a future DLC Spirit: 6/10
Odds Porky is a future DLC character: 2/10
However, the main villain of a niche series probably isn’t enough to put Porky over the top. I’d personally love to see him, especially the younger version from Earthbound who fights in a Bowser Jr-style mech, but chances are he’ll appear as a downloadable Spirit somewhere down the line. You’ll probably even be able to enhance him from his Earthbound sprite to his Mother 3 one.
Spirits Scenario: Metal Bowser Jr. on Fourside.
Odds Porky is a future DLC Spirit: 6/10
Odds Porky is a future DLC character: 2/10
2.
The Metroid Hunters (Metroid Prime Series)
Metroid, as a series, has
historically been about the struggles of one character; Samus Aran. She takes
out armies of Space Pirates and all manner of creepy space beasts on solo
missions while working for a faceless federation.
As video games became more cinematic, the mute, solo adventures of Samus seemed quaint and outdated, so she was given some supporting characters to flesh out her world, er… galaxy.
I’m of the mind that Samus and Zero Suit Samus were the perfect reps for Smash. When it came right down to it, these games were stories about one woman. Having her repped twice was a great option. But other fans disagreed. Many wanted to see her nemesis, Ridley, show up despite his immensity. They got their wish in SSBU. Samus even got a clone character in Dark Samus, bringing the Metroid character count up to four.
Part of the expanded Metroid roster came in the form of rival bounty hunters. This is probably the best way to give her some characters to play off of while still keeping Samus as a free agent. Unfortunately, every Hunter they introduced had no personality and played exactly the same way as Samus, down to the ability to become a ball and roll around on the ground. As a result, only two token Hunters, Trace and Kanden were included as Spirits. This left Noxus, Weavel, Spire, and fan-favorite Sylux out in the cold.
Sakurai used a lot of token representation to pull double duty so he wouldn’t have thousands upon thousands of Spirits to include and code. For example, most people know the Mario enemy Dry Bones. They’re a race of skeletal turtle zombies that showed up in Super Mario Bros 3 and are still pretty major enemies. But they aren’t in the game, despite fellow enemies like Goomba and Blooper and Boo making the cut. However, Dry Bowser, a skeletal form of Mario’s famous nemesis DID make the cut. Now we get a major character without the overlap of a very similar, lesser character. This is also the case for the Yarn version of Yoshi’s dog, Poochy. Regular ol’ Poochy isn’t in, but Yarn Poochy can represent Poochy AND the yarn aesthetic from a different Yoshi game.
This, I think, is why we got 2/6 of the Hunters. The weird thing is that Sylux is far and away the most popular Hunter thanks to a tease in Metroid Prime 3 that he’s going to be a bigger player in the future. But he isn’t yet.
Many think Sylux will be DLC down the line when Metroid Prime 4 comes out, but that’s a commitment to a character who is, thus far, a generic alien. Smash representation means you’ve made it to the big leagues. It means Nintendo can’t force you into a box in the basement and forget about you for 15 years. It means you’re a face of the brand. Look at what happened to Roy after his first Smash appearance. He’s not a favorite character in his home franchise and has kind of been forced as an “All-Star” only because of his association with Smash. Is Nintendo willing to make that gamble again?
So while the other Hunters have no chance at being playable, Sylux COULD get one if he is a major antagonist in Metroid Prime 4 and Nintendo plans to being him back in the future as a major recurring character.
Spirits Scenario: Dark Samus (Noxus), Ganondorf w/Screw Attack (Weavel), Incineroar w/Screw Attack (Spire), Samus (Sylux) on Frigate Orpheon.
As video games became more cinematic, the mute, solo adventures of Samus seemed quaint and outdated, so she was given some supporting characters to flesh out her world, er… galaxy.
I’m of the mind that Samus and Zero Suit Samus were the perfect reps for Smash. When it came right down to it, these games were stories about one woman. Having her repped twice was a great option. But other fans disagreed. Many wanted to see her nemesis, Ridley, show up despite his immensity. They got their wish in SSBU. Samus even got a clone character in Dark Samus, bringing the Metroid character count up to four.
Part of the expanded Metroid roster came in the form of rival bounty hunters. This is probably the best way to give her some characters to play off of while still keeping Samus as a free agent. Unfortunately, every Hunter they introduced had no personality and played exactly the same way as Samus, down to the ability to become a ball and roll around on the ground. As a result, only two token Hunters, Trace and Kanden were included as Spirits. This left Noxus, Weavel, Spire, and fan-favorite Sylux out in the cold.
Sakurai used a lot of token representation to pull double duty so he wouldn’t have thousands upon thousands of Spirits to include and code. For example, most people know the Mario enemy Dry Bones. They’re a race of skeletal turtle zombies that showed up in Super Mario Bros 3 and are still pretty major enemies. But they aren’t in the game, despite fellow enemies like Goomba and Blooper and Boo making the cut. However, Dry Bowser, a skeletal form of Mario’s famous nemesis DID make the cut. Now we get a major character without the overlap of a very similar, lesser character. This is also the case for the Yarn version of Yoshi’s dog, Poochy. Regular ol’ Poochy isn’t in, but Yarn Poochy can represent Poochy AND the yarn aesthetic from a different Yoshi game.
This, I think, is why we got 2/6 of the Hunters. The weird thing is that Sylux is far and away the most popular Hunter thanks to a tease in Metroid Prime 3 that he’s going to be a bigger player in the future. But he isn’t yet.
Many think Sylux will be DLC down the line when Metroid Prime 4 comes out, but that’s a commitment to a character who is, thus far, a generic alien. Smash representation means you’ve made it to the big leagues. It means Nintendo can’t force you into a box in the basement and forget about you for 15 years. It means you’re a face of the brand. Look at what happened to Roy after his first Smash appearance. He’s not a favorite character in his home franchise and has kind of been forced as an “All-Star” only because of his association with Smash. Is Nintendo willing to make that gamble again?
So while the other Hunters have no chance at being playable, Sylux COULD get one if he is a major antagonist in Metroid Prime 4 and Nintendo plans to being him back in the future as a major recurring character.
Spirits Scenario: Dark Samus (Noxus), Ganondorf w/Screw Attack (Weavel), Incineroar w/Screw Attack (Spire), Samus (Sylux) on Frigate Orpheon.
Odds the Hunters are future DLC
Spirits: 4/10
Odds the Hunters are future DLC characters: 0/10
Odds Sylux is a future DLC Spirit: 8/10
Odds Sylux is a future DLC character: 4/10
Odds the Hunters are future DLC characters: 0/10
Odds Sylux is a future DLC Spirit: 8/10
Odds Sylux is a future DLC character: 4/10
3.
Mario’s Partners (Paper Mario Series)
I’ve gotta say, the Mario RPG
spinoffs got some pretty good spirit representation. Geno, Mallow, Peasley,
Fawful, and Vivian all made the cut, which is a great amount of characters for
a spinoff series. It does seem odd, however, that Vivian is the only Paper Mario
partner to make the cut. I mean, if you have to pick one, Vivian is the winner,
no question. She’s the most interesting, has the best design, and actually has
a character arc. Parakarry can’t claim that. It IS a bit odd that major
characters from two games are just completely absent, but at what point do you
draw the line with RPG casts? It’s not like they’re from Fire Emblem.
Will we see them pop in down the line? Maybe as Spirits if we get another Paper Mario game. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the partners pull double duty; Just Goombario to rep the Goomba partners, Koops to rep the Koopa ones, and maybe one or two others. But then again, Mario is an enormous series that includes every RPG, Party, Kart, Tennis, Soccer, etc. game series. I can see why Sakurai and company would want to draw a hard line with the RPG reps.
I don’t think there’s any way they get in as playable characters, though. Geno fans would riot.
Spirits Scenario: Kirby w/Mario Hat (Goombario), Squirtle (Kooper), Tiny Wendy (Bombette), Jigglypuff (Bow), Tiny Bowser w/Raccoon Tail (Parakarry), Pac-Man w/Hot Head (Watt), and Roy w/Jet Pack (Lakilester) on Paper Mario.
Will we see them pop in down the line? Maybe as Spirits if we get another Paper Mario game. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the partners pull double duty; Just Goombario to rep the Goomba partners, Koops to rep the Koopa ones, and maybe one or two others. But then again, Mario is an enormous series that includes every RPG, Party, Kart, Tennis, Soccer, etc. game series. I can see why Sakurai and company would want to draw a hard line with the RPG reps.
I don’t think there’s any way they get in as playable characters, though. Geno fans would riot.
Spirits Scenario: Kirby w/Mario Hat (Goombario), Squirtle (Kooper), Tiny Wendy (Bombette), Jigglypuff (Bow), Tiny Bowser w/Raccoon Tail (Parakarry), Pac-Man w/Hot Head (Watt), and Roy w/Jet Pack (Lakilester) on Paper Mario.
Odds Mario’s Partners are future
DLC Spirits: 5/10
Odds Mario’s Partners are future DLC characters: 0/10
Odds Mario’s Partners are future DLC characters: 0/10
4.
Any Human Character (Pokémon Series)
I’m not going to pretend that the
non-Pokémon characters are anywhere near as important as the Pokémon,
themselves, so I can see why so many of the 600+ creatures made it into SSBU.
Especially when they have a whole item dedicated to them. However, the NPCs are
the ones who drive the plot. Some, like Professor Oak and Misty even made it
into Melee as trophies. So why weren’t a couple characters chosen from each
generation chosen to be Spirits?
My guess? They would all have to be represented by the Pokémon Trainer in Spirits mode, and then be restricted to either Charizard, Ivysaur, or Squirtle. That would give every trainer fight a “been there, done that” kind of feel. Who cares if the spirit is Cynthia or Brock or Giovanni when each fight is really just Ivysaur? Or, if they could represent Cynthia’s signature Garchomp with a blue Charizard… why not just include Garchomp as a spirit instead, and cut out the middleman?
My guess? They would all have to be represented by the Pokémon Trainer in Spirits mode, and then be restricted to either Charizard, Ivysaur, or Squirtle. That would give every trainer fight a “been there, done that” kind of feel. Who cares if the spirit is Cynthia or Brock or Giovanni when each fight is really just Ivysaur? Or, if they could represent Cynthia’s signature Garchomp with a blue Charizard… why not just include Garchomp as a spirit instead, and cut out the middleman?
Oh wait. That’s exactly what they
did.
Adding trainers to SSBU isn’t the tough part; it’s adding their team. You could have Misty as a Pokémon Trainer clone, but you’d still need to come up with three Pokémon for her to use. And if you add her, that makes the Pokémon Trainer gimmick less unique AND bloats the roster with another three Pokémon fighters.
Spirit Scenario:
Zero Suit Samus in two-piece (Misty), Squirtle x 3. Pokeballs spawn water types only.
Dr. Mario (Professor Oak), Charizard, Squirtle, Ivysar, Pikachu. Master Balls only.
Adding trainers to SSBU isn’t the tough part; it’s adding their team. You could have Misty as a Pokémon Trainer clone, but you’d still need to come up with three Pokémon for her to use. And if you add her, that makes the Pokémon Trainer gimmick less unique AND bloats the roster with another three Pokémon fighters.
Spirit Scenario:
Zero Suit Samus in two-piece (Misty), Squirtle x 3. Pokeballs spawn water types only.
Dr. Mario (Professor Oak), Charizard, Squirtle, Ivysar, Pikachu. Master Balls only.
Odds Human Pokémon characters are
future DLC Spirits: 2/10
Odds Human Pokémon characters are future DLC characters: 0/10
Odds Human Pokémon characters are future DLC characters: 0/10
5.
The cast of Kirby 64 (Kirby 64)
Fan-favorite Adeleine is getting
all the coverage, but let’s take a step back; All the partner characters from
Kirby’s Dreamland 2 and 3 are Spirits. Gooey is a Spirit, several enemies are
Spirits, Daroach from Squeak Squad, Prince Fluff from Epic Yarn, and Magolor
from Returns are all in. But not one single character from Kirby 64 is a
Spirit. This includes Adeleine, Ribbon, and big boss, Zero2. This seems
like a glaring hole in Kirby’s representation. Ribbon was even a part of the
final boss battle. Many people speculate that their omission is because Sakurai
plans to make Adeleine a playable fighter, but she’s not exactly a heavy-hitter
in the Kirby series outside of the very hardcore. Bandanna Dee and Magolor
(both Spirits!) have larger fanbases than her, and she really only seems to be
loved because of the webcomic Brawl in the Family and the 20-Year Nostalgia
Cycle (Kirby’s Dream Land 3 and Kirby 64, the two games she was featured in,
came out in 1998 and 2000, respectively).
Barring a Kirby 64 remake and the 64 gang getting Spirits to cross-promote, I can’t see them making it in in any form.
Barring a Kirby 64 remake and the 64 gang getting Spirits to cross-promote, I can’t see them making it in in any form.
At least Ribbon and Adeleine made it into Kirby Star Allies!
Spirits Scenario: Villager (F) and Tiny Pit (Pink) on Dream Land. Vince assists.
Odds the Kirby 64 cast are future
DLC Spirits: 3/10
Odds the Kirby 64 cast are future DLC characters: 0/10
Odds the Kirby 64 cast are future DLC characters: 0/10
6.
Someone from Pro Wrestling (Pro Wrestling)
No, I don’t mean Hulk Hogan, or
The Rock, or “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. When the NES released back in the late
1980s, Nintendo’s first wave of first-party games (known as the “Black Box
Games”) launched alongside it. Some, like Super Mario Bros, Duck Hunt, and
Excitebike became classics. Others were more generic filler titles that have
mostly been forgotten for one reason or another. These include Urban Champion,
Tennis, and yes, Pro Wrestling. Pro Wrestling isn’t really a remarkable game,
except for its victory screen, which, if you’ve been playing video games for a
while, might sound familiar. That’s not to say that some of the character
designs aren’t fix. Wrestlers like Starman (Not that one) and The Amazon are
really fun and could use an update for modern days.
However, while those Black Box games were all referenced as Spirits in SSBU, Pro Wrestling was strangely absent. Bubbles from Clu Clu Land was a Spirit, as were the Urban Champion, Mach Rider, and representatives from the sports titles like Baseball, Hockey, Volleyball, and Tennis. So why no Pro Wrestling? The reason may be similar to that of Geno or Sukapon; Nintendo no longer holds the license to Pro Wrestling. The game’s creator, Masato Masuda, left Nintendo and brought the license to Pro Wrestling with him to Try Company, Ltd (Later, HUMAN) where it lays dormant to this day.
Spirits Scenario: Ryu (Fighter Hayabusa), Captain Falcon (Star Man), Incineroar (Giant Panther), Little Mac (Kin Corn Carn), Greninja (The Amazon), Ken (King Slender), Ganondorf (Great Puma) in the Wrestling Ring.
However, while those Black Box games were all referenced as Spirits in SSBU, Pro Wrestling was strangely absent. Bubbles from Clu Clu Land was a Spirit, as were the Urban Champion, Mach Rider, and representatives from the sports titles like Baseball, Hockey, Volleyball, and Tennis. So why no Pro Wrestling? The reason may be similar to that of Geno or Sukapon; Nintendo no longer holds the license to Pro Wrestling. The game’s creator, Masato Masuda, left Nintendo and brought the license to Pro Wrestling with him to Try Company, Ltd (Later, HUMAN) where it lays dormant to this day.
Spirits Scenario: Ryu (Fighter Hayabusa), Captain Falcon (Star Man), Incineroar (Giant Panther), Little Mac (Kin Corn Carn), Greninja (The Amazon), Ken (King Slender), Ganondorf (Great Puma) in the Wrestling Ring.
Odds a Pro Wrestler is future Spirits
DLC: 0/10
Odds a Pro Wrestler is future character DLC: 0/10
Odds a Pro Wrestler is future character DLC: 0/10
7.
Mike Jones (StarTropics Series)
Who?
That’s still relevant, right?
Oh Jesus. That guy was popular in
2004. I guess not.
Mike Jones is not a rapper from
2004. He’s the lead character from StarTropics and its sequel on the NES.
StarTropics plays a lot like Zelda with a tropical island aesthetic, but
instead of swords and boomerangs, you use yo-yos and bolos and snowman dolls that
freeze your enemies in their tracks. They’re cute and goofy and I have fond
memories of the series from when I was a kid.
Unfortunately, they were made for a western audience by Nintendo and are virtually unknown in Japan. This is a real shame, because it would be fun to see Mike back at it and maybe see his series relaunched.
The games were also made by the same group that worked on Punch-Out, so it’s strange to me that it wasn’t released in Japan as well.
This seems like the perfect opportunity for Sakurai to throw a bone to western audiences and introduce the franchise to Japan by tossing Mike and Zoda and Dr. Jones Spirits into a DLC patch. But I can’t see that happening. This seems like the kind of game that would be on Sakurai’s radar, though. Dude loves his random gaming trivia.
Spirits Scenario: Ness on Tortimer Island with Beastballs.
Unfortunately, they were made for a western audience by Nintendo and are virtually unknown in Japan. This is a real shame, because it would be fun to see Mike back at it and maybe see his series relaunched.
The games were also made by the same group that worked on Punch-Out, so it’s strange to me that it wasn’t released in Japan as well.
This seems like the perfect opportunity for Sakurai to throw a bone to western audiences and introduce the franchise to Japan by tossing Mike and Zoda and Dr. Jones Spirits into a DLC patch. But I can’t see that happening. This seems like the kind of game that would be on Sakurai’s radar, though. Dude loves his random gaming trivia.
Spirits Scenario: Ness on Tortimer Island with Beastballs.
Odds Mike Jones is a future
Spirits DLC: 1/10
Odds Mike Jones is a future character DLC: 0/10
Odds Mike Jones is a future character DLC: 0/10
8.
Lolo (Eggerland/Adventures of Lolo Series)
Way back before Kirby broke onto
the scene, Lolo was HAL’s poster boy. You played as a little blue sphere with
eyes, Lolo, as he pushed blocks around and tried to climb a tower to rescue his
girlfriend, Lala. Three Lolo games were made for the NES in total, and they
were all great puzzle games with a lot of character.
HAL then shifted focus to Kirby and even brought Lolo and Lala along for the ride by making them recurring bosses.
The only standout HAL franchises are Lolo and Kirby. Aside from those, the bulk of HAL’s catalogue is board games, though they also helped with the Earthbound and Smash Bros series. There is no chance Lolo isn’t on Sakurai’s radar, as Sakurai got his start at HAL, and created both the Kirby and Super Smash Bros games. In fact, I’d consider this to be the most curious omission in SSBU.
One of Sakurai’s trademarks is his love of video game history. He’s included a retired NES character in every Smash Bros game since Melee (Ice Climbers in Melee, Pit in Brawl, Duck Hunt in Smash Bros 4), except SSBU. Every other NES-era character either still has a franchise going today (Samus, Link, Mario), or is already a Spirit, as listed in the Pro Wrestling section. Lolo is the last NES-era character who could possibly be viable in a Smash game, and even that is a stretch. I don’t think Sakurai plans to add the little guy to Smash, but having the final DLC fighter as a throwback to the NES and his tenure at HAL is exactly the kind of thing I could see Sakurai doing.
Spirits Scenario: Kirby (Blue) and Jigglypuff on Great Cave Offensive with Wheeled Crates.
HAL then shifted focus to Kirby and even brought Lolo and Lala along for the ride by making them recurring bosses.
The only standout HAL franchises are Lolo and Kirby. Aside from those, the bulk of HAL’s catalogue is board games, though they also helped with the Earthbound and Smash Bros series. There is no chance Lolo isn’t on Sakurai’s radar, as Sakurai got his start at HAL, and created both the Kirby and Super Smash Bros games. In fact, I’d consider this to be the most curious omission in SSBU.
One of Sakurai’s trademarks is his love of video game history. He’s included a retired NES character in every Smash Bros game since Melee (Ice Climbers in Melee, Pit in Brawl, Duck Hunt in Smash Bros 4), except SSBU. Every other NES-era character either still has a franchise going today (Samus, Link, Mario), or is already a Spirit, as listed in the Pro Wrestling section. Lolo is the last NES-era character who could possibly be viable in a Smash game, and even that is a stretch. I don’t think Sakurai plans to add the little guy to Smash, but having the final DLC fighter as a throwback to the NES and his tenure at HAL is exactly the kind of thing I could see Sakurai doing.
Spirits Scenario: Kirby (Blue) and Jigglypuff on Great Cave Offensive with Wheeled Crates.
Odds Lolo is a future Spirits DLC:
3/10
Odds Lolo is a future character DLC: 3/10
Odds Lolo is a future character DLC: 3/10
So that's my Smash article. Feel free to tell me how dumb I am for believing Spirits means characters can't be playable. I'm used to it after I bought into the "Box Theory.", but that ended up going ok.
Hey, I wrote an article! Enjoy it while it's relevant!
