There's always pressure when you come back from a long hiatus to write a big, long, epic entry. As if you've been away this whole time planning your spectacular reemergence like some kind of Christ simile.
"He returned to his blog like Jesus returned to Earth."
That was awful. I apologize. Not for the comparison, but for how bad it was.
At any rate, I haven't done that. No planning, no big hoorah. Instead I'm going to make this as awkward as possible for the both of us. That way I set expectations very low for you all.
So what the hell has been going on? Well, in the last couple months I moved to New York. Kind of a big deal, considering I lived in backwoods Pensacola before this. It's a complete 180. And I like it.
There's a lot to do in the city, obviously. There are restaurants, museums, shows, landmarks, homeless people doing filthy/impressive (often at the same time) things on the subway, everything!
Florida's got the beach. I don't know if you know this, but fat guys hate the beach. I had to reread that sentence to make sure I didn't leave off the "H" in hate. That would be unfortunate. And hilarious.
Fat guys hate the beach for several reasons. The first is the obvious. Nobody goes to the beach to see and eclipse as you pass by them, blocking out the sun. They want to see other good-looking people, like in the movies. Fat guys get something good out of this deal though. If there's ever a homicidal killer on the loose, only skinny attractive people get the axe (despite our inability to run). Fair trade, I think.
Reason number two? The t-shirt. Because we feel shame because of the girth, we keep a t-shirt on. This does not hide the girth, but instead accentuates it. Especially when we go into the water. Ever go to a wet t-shirt contest? You know the feeling the women have when they get home? Imagine that feeling amplified and present the whole time. With more ice cream.
Reason number three is because we have to walk around with an erection as we look at all of the women we'll never have sex with. Enjoy that mental image.
Anyway, I'm not missing much being away from the beach. In fact, people might sense that it's much nicer there, though they're not quite sure why. But we know, don't we?
Feeling awkward yet? Good. Back to New York.
It's awesome. Plain and simple. All those comedians who say "I'm happy to be back in the BEST CITY ON EARTH!" and get a raucous response from the crowd? They're not kidding. And I've only been here a week. Image all the cool illegal stuff I don't know about yet.
Plus, I get to wear a jacket more often and trick people into thinking I'm more attractive. Ladies?
PS- Hopefully we'll have another Multipass that we recorded about a month ago up soon.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Are we big enough to warrant a podcast?
Aw, who cares? We started one anyway.
Hey everyone, I'm Thom and I'll be producing and co-hosting The Multipass. David and I will be bringing you general geek info-tainment once a week, or we'll try to at least. Check out our awesome podcast player on the right side of the blog over there (give it a second to load up after you press play) and please feel free to subscribe to the podcast with iTunes absolutely free of charge.
Or follow the podcast at:
http://themultipass.mypodcast.com/
And follow us on twitter @: http://www.twitter.com/themultipass
This week on The Multipass , David and I shoot the shit about cars lighting on fire and working at a strip joint (not what you think). We review Toy Story 3 and share our thoughts regarding all of the new shit presented at E3 this year. We wrap it up with tales of secret drinking, porno, and spooky films involving a thing and one Mr. Heston. Featuring music from Panthertronius Tron, JVNGL, Mas O Menos, and Paul the P Funk Fresh. All music is copywritten and used with permission from the artists.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Problems with the "Lost" finale
Note: This is kind of a knee-jerk reaction. I know that. It's not going to be completely coherent. Bear with me.
You were so close. So, so close.
You almost had a great show all the way through. You shocked us, you entertained us, you made us feel for the characters.
Missed it by that much.
Here's why;
1. Religious heavy-handedness
Jack's entry into the all-inclusive non-denominational church immediately raised a flag. Everyone had been acting very strangely, and when we saw that casket, we knew something was about to go down. Then we saw Jack's dad, realized everyone was dead, they were in heaven/purgatory without ever quite saying it, etc. The icing on the cake was the name of Jack's father--Christian Shepard--guiding them all to the bright light. It was just too much. I wanted to groan.
The spiritual theme has always been present in Lost. Locke embodied it for years, until he died, of course. Then Jack took up the mantle. Jacob hung around to give us the religious vibe in Locke's absence. I don't mind that the "man of science" was wrong in the end. I was just a bit disappointed that they went for a safe, Jesus-loves-everyone ending. It reeked of cheese and frankly I thought they deserved more. The whole scene still feels surreal to me. Why is that? Well...
2. Mysticism vs. Realism
The Island, post-season 1, opened us to a world of mysticism. We had the Smoke Monster, the healing properties of the island, destiny, time travel, Jacob, etc. etc. The Island was a wonderful place where special things happened. They were trapped there and it was a stark difference from everyday life. Before the island, the survivors were criminals, doctors, musicians, fast food workers. They were normal people. Slowly, The Island transformed their world into something fantastic. Then the flash-sideways grounded us again. We saw the familiar characters behaving in everyday ways. They still had struggles and they were still interesting despite the fact that they no longer had the mystical Island juju to help them. There was no Jacob. However, in the final moments of Lost we find out that the whole "realistic" world is a construct. It means nothing. It was undone. All of the new relationships and redemptions we witnessed meant nothing at all. They were all dead. Who cares? Lost had pulled the rug out from under us before with storytelling methods like the flash forward, but I had never felt betrayed or like I had wasted my time. I liked the flash sideways. It helped me feel like these characters, though they may be dead in the "real" timeline, might have a shot after all. But nope. The survivors left behind a lot of kids they'll never see again; Jin, Sawyer, and Michael all had children that are now abandoned. They'll never see them again. And the flash sideways world, where they could have addressed that, suddenly doesn't matter at all. Speaking of kids--
3. David
Jack's son in the flash-sideways was something of an enigma. We didn't know where he came from til the final episode, we don't know what happened to him after Locke "woke up," and we never find out. Since the flash sideways is a construct, it's possible that Jack created him as a son that he could use to be the father he always wanted. But it that's true, then that means Jack unconsciously has some kind of reign in that construct. So Jack's unconscious mind put him in a relationship with Juliet. Does that go against any kind of real emotion the characters had in the main timeline? we saw there that Jack and Kate wound up together, and so did Juliet and Sawyer. They were very happy, seemingly. The flash-sideways undoes all of that. It negates it. It seems less real than it was. It cheapens the relationships that we cared about over six seasons.
4. No finality in the real world
One huge mistake they made in the final season was showing us what happened in the purgatory world. There was closure there. Everything was tied up in a neat little bow and the white light bathed us all and we felt really good about it.
But who cares? None of it actually happened. I didn't care at all about that world by the time it ended. I wanted to know about the real world. What happened to Claire and Richard and Sawyer and Miles? How did Hurley and Ben get Desmond home? Those are the real questions. Those are what mattered. The focus was on the wrong timeline.
5. Negation of the flash-sideways
Obviously I mentioned this above. We spent a whole season redeeming characters (Sayid, Jin, Ben) and helping them learn and discover themselves (Locke, Jack). There was some wonderful character development. Jin and Sun were together despite the oppressive nature of Mr. Paik. Sayid saved Nadia, just like he always wanted to do, but at the same time he learned to move on from her. Ben looked like he was going to have a happy future with Rousseau and Alex. Jack accepted that there was room for faith in his life and Locke realized that faith wasn't everything. These were all the lessons that they should have learned in the real world. This timeline was what they needed. It was what the audience needed. In those last few minutes we realize that none of this matters because the characters were all dead when it happened. They never learned these things in life. They never got to grow from their self-discovery. They never got to live life their way if The Island and Jacob had never interfered. More importantly, the audience never got closure. What's the point of having your characters redeemed when it no longer matters?
6. The Smoke Monster
The Big Bad of season six was the Man in Black. The Smoke Monster. We were told that The Island was his prison and he could never leave. If he did, the world would be ruined.
But that's it.
At the halfway point, the Man in Black was shot and unceremoniously tossed off a cliff. Bu we never really saw the extent of his power. It never really felt like the world was in danger. We needed to see what he was going to do when he escaped. We need to know that Jacob wasn't lying this whole time. We got none of that. The fight was great, but it ended too soon.
Lost seems to have fallen into a couple simple traps; we never saw any real threat in the villain, and they failed to realize what their audience needed. These simple things would have saved us a lot of frustration... or at least it would have saved me a lot of frustration. The finale wasn't even bad. 80% of it was fantastic. I loved Ben's redemption. I loved the final shot. I loved seeing (almost) everyone again. I just wish it would have meant something tangible.
You were so close. So, so close.
You almost had a great show all the way through. You shocked us, you entertained us, you made us feel for the characters.
Missed it by that much.
Here's why;
1. Religious heavy-handedness
Jack's entry into the all-inclusive non-denominational church immediately raised a flag. Everyone had been acting very strangely, and when we saw that casket, we knew something was about to go down. Then we saw Jack's dad, realized everyone was dead, they were in heaven/purgatory without ever quite saying it, etc. The icing on the cake was the name of Jack's father--Christian Shepard--guiding them all to the bright light. It was just too much. I wanted to groan.
The spiritual theme has always been present in Lost. Locke embodied it for years, until he died, of course. Then Jack took up the mantle. Jacob hung around to give us the religious vibe in Locke's absence. I don't mind that the "man of science" was wrong in the end. I was just a bit disappointed that they went for a safe, Jesus-loves-everyone ending. It reeked of cheese and frankly I thought they deserved more. The whole scene still feels surreal to me. Why is that? Well...
2. Mysticism vs. Realism
The Island, post-season 1, opened us to a world of mysticism. We had the Smoke Monster, the healing properties of the island, destiny, time travel, Jacob, etc. etc. The Island was a wonderful place where special things happened. They were trapped there and it was a stark difference from everyday life. Before the island, the survivors were criminals, doctors, musicians, fast food workers. They were normal people. Slowly, The Island transformed their world into something fantastic. Then the flash-sideways grounded us again. We saw the familiar characters behaving in everyday ways. They still had struggles and they were still interesting despite the fact that they no longer had the mystical Island juju to help them. There was no Jacob. However, in the final moments of Lost we find out that the whole "realistic" world is a construct. It means nothing. It was undone. All of the new relationships and redemptions we witnessed meant nothing at all. They were all dead. Who cares? Lost had pulled the rug out from under us before with storytelling methods like the flash forward, but I had never felt betrayed or like I had wasted my time. I liked the flash sideways. It helped me feel like these characters, though they may be dead in the "real" timeline, might have a shot after all. But nope. The survivors left behind a lot of kids they'll never see again; Jin, Sawyer, and Michael all had children that are now abandoned. They'll never see them again. And the flash sideways world, where they could have addressed that, suddenly doesn't matter at all. Speaking of kids--
3. David
Jack's son in the flash-sideways was something of an enigma. We didn't know where he came from til the final episode, we don't know what happened to him after Locke "woke up," and we never find out. Since the flash sideways is a construct, it's possible that Jack created him as a son that he could use to be the father he always wanted. But it that's true, then that means Jack unconsciously has some kind of reign in that construct. So Jack's unconscious mind put him in a relationship with Juliet. Does that go against any kind of real emotion the characters had in the main timeline? we saw there that Jack and Kate wound up together, and so did Juliet and Sawyer. They were very happy, seemingly. The flash-sideways undoes all of that. It negates it. It seems less real than it was. It cheapens the relationships that we cared about over six seasons.
4. No finality in the real world
One huge mistake they made in the final season was showing us what happened in the purgatory world. There was closure there. Everything was tied up in a neat little bow and the white light bathed us all and we felt really good about it.
But who cares? None of it actually happened. I didn't care at all about that world by the time it ended. I wanted to know about the real world. What happened to Claire and Richard and Sawyer and Miles? How did Hurley and Ben get Desmond home? Those are the real questions. Those are what mattered. The focus was on the wrong timeline.
5. Negation of the flash-sideways
Obviously I mentioned this above. We spent a whole season redeeming characters (Sayid, Jin, Ben) and helping them learn and discover themselves (Locke, Jack). There was some wonderful character development. Jin and Sun were together despite the oppressive nature of Mr. Paik. Sayid saved Nadia, just like he always wanted to do, but at the same time he learned to move on from her. Ben looked like he was going to have a happy future with Rousseau and Alex. Jack accepted that there was room for faith in his life and Locke realized that faith wasn't everything. These were all the lessons that they should have learned in the real world. This timeline was what they needed. It was what the audience needed. In those last few minutes we realize that none of this matters because the characters were all dead when it happened. They never learned these things in life. They never got to grow from their self-discovery. They never got to live life their way if The Island and Jacob had never interfered. More importantly, the audience never got closure. What's the point of having your characters redeemed when it no longer matters?
6. The Smoke Monster
The Big Bad of season six was the Man in Black. The Smoke Monster. We were told that The Island was his prison and he could never leave. If he did, the world would be ruined.
But that's it.
At the halfway point, the Man in Black was shot and unceremoniously tossed off a cliff. Bu we never really saw the extent of his power. It never really felt like the world was in danger. We needed to see what he was going to do when he escaped. We need to know that Jacob wasn't lying this whole time. We got none of that. The fight was great, but it ended too soon.
Lost seems to have fallen into a couple simple traps; we never saw any real threat in the villain, and they failed to realize what their audience needed. These simple things would have saved us a lot of frustration... or at least it would have saved me a lot of frustration. The finale wasn't even bad. 80% of it was fantastic. I loved Ben's redemption. I loved the final shot. I loved seeing (almost) everyone again. I just wish it would have meant something tangible.
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